Finally me
For many years I have tried to please everyone around me. I would have done many things just to feel loved and approved and to have as many people as possible around me. I would have done anything to be liked and loved. And I was losing the real me. I didn't know who I was anymore.
And finally I found myself......I know who I am. Or at least I have a pretty good idea about it. And people around me are not very pleased about it. Some people always comment my behaviour, my reactions, everything I do is not good enough. I am so tired to please everyone. I have so many people around me who like me. My friends, my real friends.
Isn't my family supposed to suport me? Oh no, not my family! My aunt always has something to say about my behaviour: I am too atached to my mom, I complain too much about my headaches, I always do what my mom says, I read too much, I don't go out enough, I study too much( is that a bad thing?and I don't even study that much), why do I have pills in my bag(calcium because my body loses calcium very fast), why do I eat so much, why don't I wear high heels,WHY DO I BREATHE????????????I am so tired of her complining about me. She has no idea about how much I have suffered after the car accident, after my father's death.She has no idea. She doesn't know what made me who I am, what I am. Who is she to criticize me?
And finally I found myself......I know who I am. Or at least I have a pretty good idea about it. And people around me are not very pleased about it. Some people always comment my behaviour, my reactions, everything I do is not good enough. I am so tired to please everyone. I have so many people around me who like me. My friends, my real friends.
Isn't my family supposed to suport me? Oh no, not my family! My aunt always has something to say about my behaviour: I am too atached to my mom, I complain too much about my headaches, I always do what my mom says, I read too much, I don't go out enough, I study too much( is that a bad thing?and I don't even study that much), why do I have pills in my bag(calcium because my body loses calcium very fast), why do I eat so much, why don't I wear high heels,WHY DO I BREATHE????????????I am so tired of her complining about me. She has no idea about how much I have suffered after the car accident, after my father's death.She has no idea. She doesn't know what made me who I am, what I am. Who is she to criticize me?
posted by niki at
Thursday, February 10, 2005
1 Comments:
good for you, you are coming into your own and you will build confidence and you won't worry what others think. I have been like you and sometimes still, long for acceptance from everyone, but realize if I love myself that others will,, we have to give ourselves what we need and not look for it on the outside. It took me a very long time to learn that, you are doing much better and are on the fast track!! It's ok to carry calcium, to complain about your headaches and be attached to your mother - your aunt must be miserable and she takes it out on others, just send her love in your mind and ignore her words. You should be very proud of yourself!!
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Julie, at 1:07 AM
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